Activism For The Sake Of Activism

Clearly, we blame her.(What?!)

I’m sure many of us have seen or heard people doing this throughout our lives, but at the same time watched either it not fulfilled, or people speaking in part for a cause or problem they do not understand. I decided to write about this today due to coming across a news article (Right) about a liquor board ad that was recently taken down. Reason why? The ad “clearly” was placing blame on rape victims, saying “it was their own fault they got raped”. I looked at the ad, and it CLEARLY does not state anything of the sort. Some people called the ad “graphic” and its message “disgusting”. If anything, the ad is providing awareness of the dangers of alcohol. Being honest about the fact that alcohol is not measurable in effect on any human being, and really the effects vary from mild to extreme in any given group of people drinking. You may be an efficient drinker, who gets  drunk enough to just be having a good time, where a friend of yours can have even less to drink than you but somehow end up so drunk they wander away from the group, talk to strangers, and even start obnoxiously showing their body off because the part of the brain that makes logical decisions isn’t really in arms length for them. For them, there is no morally right way to act.
 

Therefore the ad is just trying to open your eyes to being more cautious with not only yourself but with your friends. The author and many of her readers state that the term “She didn’t want to do it, but she couldn’t say no” is a sort of blame on the victim. It’s not. This is where people take their voices to far, and comment on things they do not understand. Like for example, that rape isn’t just what a boogie man in an alley way does, but it is what anyone can do to another person. Male or female. Rape doesn’t just happen to slutty dressed girls. No, it can happen to a completely sober person, and another person who takes advantage of a situation that is in fact socially normal. And over drinking is socially normal. It is so common that people aren’t surprised by it, and most times expect one person in their group to go too far. this is where the ad steps in and says “take care of each other” because likely your friend either is passing out with this person, and can’t physically say no, they feel the situation is normal and should just be ok with the sex, or is fearful of other consequences (like,say getting punched or kicked). As another commenter on the article stated the ad’s message is similar to that of “"she didn't really want to get ran over by a truck but she couldn't get up" and is in no way putting blame on the victim. For whatever reason, your friend is not in a position to say no, or even if they are the assailant won’t let them, or even hear it.

There is also an argument from many readers that we should stop saying “Don’t get raped” and say “Don’t rape”. I’m sorry but that is easier said than done. In all reality we cannot stop these people from feeling like rape is on ok thing to do, but can prevent it by being aware of our surroundings, and setting up safety nets within our group of friends. Like being ok if a friend calls and needs a place to stay after the subways and buses are done, or keeping an eye on friends who are more inebriated then us. I’m certain that we cannot stop violent people from being violent just by saying stop, because it just seems to be a part of human nature to break the rules. It’s not right, but it’s not something that has an easy solution. if we cannot stop something, the best thing we can do is try to create awareness within our communities to provide protection for those that may not be able to protect themselves. As for those who believe ads like this actually do put blame on the victim, you are looking for a way to make the ad go away. You do not want to think about rape happening, but sadly it does. This may be a  graphic ad, but it needs to be at this point. Nothing else seems to work except for shocking ads, and scenarios. If that is what it takes to make a community take care of each other, then so be it.

Changeable definition!

Many people take activism a step to far, and at times ignore that basis for an individuals decisions or actions. Like homophobic activism for example, just like the rape ad above, wants you to create awareness for violence happening in our communities. Take care of each other is the main message, and that is all great until someone steps in and goes a bit too far. Homophobia is a horrible fear, and in many cases is not founded by those with it. These people can end up harming someone because of the strong fear of their sexual lifestyle, or because they deem it as wrong. While we can create awareness, and try to stop people from acting out on their hate, there has to be an understanding that people don’t have to like everything in the world. I do not like the idea of a woman having to cover herself head to toe because her religion says so, but that’s not me having to wear it. So, I tolerate that it is just the way they choose to live. I don’t make fun of them, or bombard them with hate speech about it, but that lifestyle would not work for me. It’s my problem not theirs. Same with those who do not understand homosexuality, they shouldn’t come after you with torches at the ready, but they don’t need to like what you do. That is their problem, not yours. It only becomes your problem when they attack you verbally or physically. Then you have the right to defend yourself. Many gay activists try to shove it down the throats of everyone who may have even the slightest problem with them. Not cool. Just because I say “Hey, please stop hitting on me.” does not mean I am saying “Ew you lesbian, get your dirty hands off me.” In fact what I said is similar to what I say to most guys who hit on me that I am not interested. Personally, I have no issue with homosexuality mainly because it does not affect me in any direct way. I will march with my friends, and stand up for them when I believe they have been wronged because that is what friends do for each other. Other than that, the gay community and I have very little to do with each other because it is not my sexual lifestyle, and therefore I have very little need to be in a lesbian bar. Those with homophobia aren’t always the monsters the media makes them out to be. Nor are they the uneducated mass that some like to think they are. Homophobia is a fear of homosexuals, and their the sex life. This needs to be remembered when approaching someone you think may not be comfortable with the homosexual community. You can’t yell at them, or make them feel bad if they aren’t doing anything wrong. They have a right to fear, and to not understand. One day maybe they will come to terms, but don’t force them. Maybe those who act aggressively towards the gay community should have a different name for themselves “Arrogant Dickwads.”  or “Violent Deviants”. There is likely a better name...? Anyways. ( Side note: I’m afraid of the dark, but I don’t kick the shit of the dark. I just steer clear, cause it scares me. So are you going to tell me to just suddenly not fear the dark cause YOU tell me to?)

Scary Dark Is Scary

You ask for tolerance, but really what you are asking for is complete approval. Sorry to burst your bubble but that is not what tolerance means. It means to tolerate something that you may not like or agree with, and in keeping a mostly nonaggressive stance on a topic because one may be biased in opinion. If you think what I am saying is a farce well please let me give you one more example of someone with homophobia. A male that I know was once raped by another male, and because of this situation is justifiably uneasy and sometimes fearful around those who are homosexual. He doesn’t hate the gay community, he is just scared because of going through that horrible encounter again. He does not need an activist telling him that he is the horrible person who needs to be more open, because he doesn’t have to give you that. I have seen this done to many people by gay activists, and that is where a line needs to be put up. If you ask for tolerance, could you please make sure to understand the meaning first. I tolerate cats because I am allergic, I do not approve of them because they cause me horrible allergies, but I do not attack them for the exact same reason. Tolerance.



While reading this you may have noticed that during the rape portion I did not put in the words “she” or“her”. I do this to make a point that rape is not a male on female situation only. It is already embarrassing as a woman to admit that someone defiled you, and with that is just as embarrassing for a guy to admit the same. Whether he be raped by a man or a woman it does not matter. The reason why guys don’t come up a lot as the victim of a rape is because many do not admit to it happening, or are not even aware that it happened. Similar to women who do not come forward about a rape, it is punch to ones dignity. As many women are not aware that they were taken advantage of because they believe they agreed to it, or were convinced into agreeing to it. It works the same for men, but in our society more males keep their mouths zipped on the topic. Likely because of a socialized ideal that males can’t get raped This has to do with my next activism for the sake of activism.

If I'm seeing this right...SEXISM!

Sexism is for some reason determined in our society as something that only effects women. incorrect. I see many women be just as belittling towards men. Fact: Sexism used to be a problem for mostly women due to the worlds decision that we were lower then males on the food chain. Fact: Sexism against women still needs to be fixed. Fact: So does sexism against men. It cannot go only one way, if you want respect as a woman, than be respectful to the men who give it to you, and give it back equally. Don’t say “Ugh, such a guy thing to say.” and then be mad when he goes “Ugh, such a girl thing to say.” Both comments are sexist. I won’t have to get too far into this one because i feel it speaks for itself. Feminism has gone too far, to the point where some women believe the answer to sexism is by committing genocide on the male gender. TOO FAR. That is just as bad, if not worse (I vote worse) than men thinking we belong in the kitchen. If you believe violence against men, or sexism towards men is just fine and dandy well I’m sad to say it but: You are a sexist person. Don’t give me that “It’s not sexism it’s being gender prejudice.” F-off, this is just looking for a way to make it a woman only club. At my work, there can never be more than 2 guys on the floor because “It looks bad for business.” No, sexism. Sexism because the guys lose out on shifts because they don’t have boobs, and sexist because girls are being objectified to make money for a bar. Try to reword this anyway you want so it fits your beliefs, but I stand by them. Sexism is not a female only club, and if it is well it’s a sexist word. (Mind blown) We should make things equal, not only better for women. We do not need to punish the men in our lives because of what their great x10 grandfathers thought and decided. We can educate them on how equal both genders are, and can be. And where both genders need each other and why.

If you disagree, and think we should punish them?

You suck.

-Says Marli.